Lyrics Epic Rap Battles Of History

Epic Rap Battles Of History

Nice Peter vs EpicLLOYD

EpicLLOYD:

This is one vid, kid, that you won't ever survive!

I'll beat you, dislike you, then unsubscribe!

You'll be good at rapping someday. I promise, bro,

But for now, just stick to editing that gay-ass Monday Show!

I'll slaughter your water color unicorns, eat 'em for breakfast,

Then leak to YouTube your middle name is Alexis!

I can tell you're scared just from the body language I'm reading.

You should start leaving. Look, your hairline's already retreating!

Nice Peter? Who's that? No one gives two shits!

Everyone knows your page is just the place the rap battles live!

Dude, you're really huge on YouTube. You got a great career,

But remember: you got famous off of my idea!

Nice Peter:

The battles were your idea to start with. That's no lie,

But I'm the one who had the brains to let a midget play the bad guys!

Look at you, or let me just tell you what I see:

You're a short little sidekick. I'll call you mini-me!

I drew a mustache on your face, and you played a mean Hitler.

Take the mustache away, you look more like Bette Midler!

You big tooth, chompy face, horse looking prick!

You and Bill O'Reilly can both suck my dick!

EpicLLOYD:

You're taller than I am, but you look up to me:

The guy who got you your first job in comedy!

Nice Peter:

I wrote your best verses for you; let you scream on the chorus!

You've got as much music talent as Chuck fucking Norris!

EpicLLOYD:

You, a musician? That's kinda stretching.

You wrote eighty seven songs with the same chord progression!

Nice Peter:

You look like a thumb! Where'd you even come from?

It's like I'm battle rapping a fat version of Gollum!

EpicLLOYD:

I'm gonna knock you right outta your little Superman socks.

You were nothing before you rode up on KassemG's jock!

Nice Peter:

Man, you don't even have to say that kind of shit.

Fuck the rap battles and you. I quit!