Lyrics Epic Rap Battles Of History

Epic Rap Battles Of History

Donald Trump vs Ebenezer Scrooge

Donald Trump:

Wake up, Scrooge, I'm about to take a Dickens of a dump

On this lonely, homely little miserable grump

I'm like the star of a Christmas tree, you're like the stump

I'm not known for my heart but you're still getting Trumped

You remind me of my ex-wife in a bikini, cause you disgust me

Keep your TB from Tiny Timmy away from me, don't even touch me

I don't shake hands, I don't make fans, I ruin rappers faster than Scottish lands

Even Jay-Z knows what a pimp I am, I got my name on the front of the business, man!

My raps'll haunt you, make you think you're going insane

You're about to get whooped by three emcee's of the ethereal plane

So when the clock strikes, prepare to enter a world of Christmas pain

Cause I'm out, I got my own f***ing problems, call me 2 Chainz!

Ebenezer Scrooge:

How dare you disturb me when I'm napping in my chair

You're a crappy rap-spitting apparition, I ain't scared

Of this random phantom, haunt all you want, I don't care

I do not believe in ghosts and I don't believe that hair

J.P. Morgan:

Don't panic, Scrooge, but you're about to crash!

I'm J.P. Morgan, the Ghost of Rich Dudes Past!

Who's properly rocking the Monopoly mustache!

Yo, I own the railroad, I run these tracks!

You got dumped on a bench, now you're pissed at the world

You shoulda made like Sebastian, and kissed the girl!

Because your greed is the curse that's gonna tear you apart

What good is your purse if you're poor in your heart?

Ebenezer Scrooge:

Bah humbug, your raps don't unnerve me, they're atrocious

What frightens me the most is your gross ghost proboscis

Business and success, that's the life I've selected

So enough with your pictures from the past. I'm not affected!

Kanye West:

Well you're about to be right now

I'm the ghost of what's right now

Just take a lesson from Yeezy

You missing the point, Ebenezy

There's more to life than your work take it easy

Even I can make time for Azizy

Best put some friends on your wish list

Cause you don't know the spirit of Christmas

If you did then you would at this moment

Be sharing your money with some of the homeless!

Ebenezer Scrooge:

No! This isn't happening, oh, this is maddening agony, wait

Actually, harkening back to the dead Donald's lecture

I still am expecting a final specter!

The Ghost of Christmas Yet To Come:

Boo!

You're gonna die

Noo one to love you and no one to cry

Alone by youself on the bed of your death

With a stench of regret on your last dying breath

Cause you've chosen the path of a selfish man

With Tiny Tim's innocent blood on your hands

The penance you should pay for the way you behave

Is written as plain as the name on this grave

Ebenezer Scrooge:

Are these the shadows of things that will be

Or things that may be only?

If I depart from my course can they change

Say it is thus with what you show me

I promise to mend my ways

A friend to all men is what I will become

It's Christmas! I haven't missed my chance to be different

God bless us everyone