How to Shake Hands

Are you cool?

Well I'm cool

Is everybody cool?

Well let's get hot

Grass roots

All across this great nation

And I am truly humbled

And gratefully accept the nomination

I'm gonna be President

Of the United States

First Tuesday in November

Mark it down and save the date

Live music in the White House

Strictly B.Y.O.B.

The public wanna get down

And it's our collective destiny

I'm gonna kiss all the babies

Maybe kiss their Mamas too

I don't need the secret service

I know how to work a room

I'm gonna be President

Of the United States

I was born to be the President

Of these United States

On the day I was born

All the nurses and doctors

Take that boy out his crib

And put him in, the Executive Office

First thing that I'm gonna do

Is disclose all those UFOs

Put Jimi Hendrix on the twenty dollar bill

And Bill Hicks on a five note

Hot damn, the democratic process

What a time to be alive

Oh I'm ready to give the people what they want

And what they want is straight talk and no jive

We have exit polls comin' in

Rhode Island and American Samoa

We have more results comin' in

From Puerto Rico and both Dakotas

Breaking news, happening right now

I believe we're ready to call it

Do you want us to call it? Yeah

I believe we have a winner

Thank you very much

I couldn't have done it

I couldn't have done it without you

Drinks on me

Thank you very much

I couldn't have done it

I couldn't have done it without you

Drinks on me

First thing that I'm gonna do

Is go for a ride on a UFO

Put Jimi Hendrix on the twenty dollar bill

And Bill Hicks on a five note

Hot damn, the democratic process

What a time to be alive

Oh I'm ready to give the people what they want

And what they want is straight talk and no jive